Love is the only shocking act left on the planet.

Love Love Love!!!! :D

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 23:42:54 -0500

Love Love Love!!!! :D

Hitch, favorite movie of all time

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 21:45:33 -0500

Albert: You know, honestly, I never knew I could feel like this. You know? I swear I'm going out of my mind. It's like I want to throw myself off of every building in New York. I see a cab and I just wanna dive in front of it because then I'll stop thinking about her.
Hitch: Look, you will. Just give it time.
Albert: That's just it. I don't want to. I mean, I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable. I mean, and if this is the only way I can stay connected with her, then... well, this is who I have to be.

My fave<3

Laundry days (:

Wed, 19 Jan 2011 14:21:59 -0500

Nothing to do once again…

I was suppose to come over to my aunt’s house and hang out with my dad, but he left T-T. So I just came over to do laundry, lol. So sad(x.

Yesterday, the first thing my dad said to me was, “You got fat!” T-T…….
Evil…. T-T, then again he said that to everyone ;Haha.

So, I’ve been looking at apartments in Colton, it’s a bit farther than Riverside. But, I don’t know it’s too far. Then again it’s a lot cheaper, lol. It’s only one hour away(x.

OHH! I fucking lost my class cause I accidentally dropped it T-T.. STORY OF MY LIFE!

Alright, that’s my little blab today(:!

After a night of yelling,

Tue, 18 Jan 2011 01:35:35 -0500

we both knew how much we love each other, and we’re not in it just cause.
I’m glad we’re having a “good” day(:

Hrm, I need to get school books T-T. When am I getting my financial aid?! LOL.
..So I can pay off my car and get a new one, :D.
Still deciding on either a Jeep Compass, Mazda2, Dodge Caliber, or a couple of other cars. I’m leaning more towards the Jeep Compass(:

Then it’s time to move ..somewhere (x!
Well before that, time to get the wedding back on track!

I’m pretty sure I have my dress, but there’s no harm in trying on the Alfred Angelo’s Disney princess collection! :D

Okay time to enjoy my Big Mac, lol. It was suppose to be for tomorrow, but by then it won’t be delicious. :D!

I know it doesn’t look so great, but it is(:

Do you ever take into consideration?

Mon, 17 Jan 2011 02:29:00 -0500

Even when we fight everyday, you never seem to get my side of the argument.
I don’t just say things just cause, there is actually a meaning to it.
It’s not just me complaining about all the shit you do or don’t do, if you’d just listen, you’d know.

I’m two steps from losing it. One more step I’ll disconnect.
Don’t push me.

I know it’s your family, but you have to understand where I’m coming from. I stand up for you when it comes to my family, so why can’t you do the same?

Jeana, “Look at my nose it looks like a dick!...

Sun, 16 Jan 2011 02:30:04 -0500

Jeana, “Look at my nose it looks like a dick! LMFAO!”
…Yeah, I don’t know. LOL.

Night with the great three, (:All in bed, and watching The...

Thu, 13 Jan 2011 23:48:14 -0500

Night with the great three, (:
All in bed, and watching The A-Team :D

Late Pictures, but here they are!

Thu, 13 Jan 2011 04:49:02 -0500

My family's Christmas(:

Future in-law's Christmas(:

New edition to the family<3

Just drivin'!

Late Pictures, but here they are!

No longer at home alone(:

Thu, 13 Jan 2011 03:54:00 -0500

Been spending my days with my aunts & uncle, along with Phi and Jeana(: Oh, can’t forget my dogs & the new edition to our family, Ba-Boi, the rabbit :D.

Lots have been going on, but most recently ..Quit my job at Macy’s and soon to be working at Lynda Sandwich, full-time. (:
Gotta get working in the restaurant business, too much retail. LOL.

My daddy was suppose to come home this past Monday, but as always it is something that has to be delayed. I’m still looking forward to seeing him, ASAP!

Some other things that has been going on is Phi, Jeana, the fiance and I have been talking about all living together ;Well once Phi gets a job, lol. Which will be quite exciting(: Then again, it already seems like we all live together.

Once again, I am doubting my engagement due to constant fights and lack of understanding. I know it’s bad, but can you blame me?! (Sorta).

On to a different subject, I recently got a lip piercing -Which I had to take out due to an infection and it hurting like a fucking bitch T-T.
So I’m planning on getting a couple new tattoos. A couple meaning only two for now, LOL.

I’m sad, this is the last month for my Disneyland pass): Maybe renewing it? Maybe not? Don’t know yet. LETS HOPE I AM! HAHA!

I need to find a work out partner, JEANA go get a 24 hour pass!! LOL.

Alright now I’m just talking nonsense, goodnight everyone(:

josieevvrroom: I’m Gone by Jay Sean. Every word = My...

Tue, 14 Dec 2010 04:29:24 -0500

josieevvrroom:

I’m Gone by Jay Sean.

Every word = My thoughts.

Thanks for a great song, Josie(:

Even through all the bullshit.

Tue, 14 Dec 2010 04:20:28 -0500

Even after me throwing both of my rings on the table last night and ignoring you all morning, you still got a way of making me love you all over again.

At times our love may be weak, but fight after fight it shows how strong we are. I love how you can always make me believe we can do it after every fight. As always you’ve reassured me that saying, “yes” was the right choice.

We just put up our 6ft Christmas tree (took 01 hour to do), and rearrange the room a little more for when my little brother comes home.

It is now 01:04AM, and we’re both taking turns playing Call of Duty, Black Ops(:

Can’t wait to spend more Christmases with you baby<3(:

Now here’s some pictures :D!

My baby cousin, Alex<3(: He cries every time I leave or put him down.

Our Christmas tree(: There will be more stuff on it & under it soon :D!

Everything always turns out fine, cause we’re strong like that<3

Not just yet.

Mon, 13 Dec 2010 04:15:35 -0500

I had an amazing first day at Macy’s, the workers there are awesome<3 So I wanted to come home and tell my fiance about my great day at work, but of course THAT was too much to ask for.

It started out great, but in the end it was just like any other night. But this time I’m on the bed alone and he is sleeping on the floor. And once again I was told to leave if that’s how I feel. How many more times do I have to hear this after having a great day?

I’m no longer excited to come home to see him or sad when he has to work late. I’m no longer in those first couple weeks you start dating.
I’m afraid to come home and fight all over again, because I’m the idiot that stays awake trying to think of the reasons why we fought or how to fix it, while you lay sleeping soundly.
I love you, but will we be able to make this last?

We pulled through so much together in such a small amount of time, so I thought we can get through anything, literally.

You’re pushing me farther and farther away. Every time you tell me to leave I wish I had the will to actually do it to prove to you that I’m strong enough to do it.

But not just yet.

I’m a couple of steps away from the door and I don’t think you’ll stop me.
That’s coming from the person who’s willing to stay through all the nights of crying silently next to you and being perfectly fine the next day.

I know it’s horrible, but maybe you just need me to leave to know how it feels again..

Would this be the time you just sit and watch me leave?

OC Cowboy.: Fear.

Sun, 12 Dec 2010 16:07:13 -0500

OC Cowboy.: Fear.:

appleamour:

Imagine this, the most sacred memories you have in your life up to this moment, everything about it. Every detail. Every aspect. Every emotion felt. Every thing that was involved it. Everything that made those moments precious. Imagine it. Now believe, that you’re going to die in five seconds…

My baby. How about you?

First days.

Sun, 12 Dec 2010 16:04:32 -0500

Remember when it was the first day of elementary school where you’d cry when your mom or dad drops you off?

Or the first day of middle school where you don’t have a clue what’s going on?

Or even the first day of high school where you don’t know if you’d have the same classes as your friends?

or maybe the first day of your job where you’re scared you might get step on cause you’re new.

I’m starting my first day at Macy’s today & the first day of my last week at Bath & Body Works. I’m scared out of my mind, because Macy’s is a big department store that has a lot of expectations. Especially in Women’s Shoes, you have to basically rush to your customers before the more experienced workers get them. (it’s hourly and commission). You must meet your own personal goals and you must sign 2-3 Macy’s cards every 40 hours you work. It’s a lot to handle.

Thanks to Bath & Body Works they got me ready for most of the stuff I have to do at Macy’s. I know how to approach a customer without feeling embarrassed about getting shot down. I know how to be genuine. But it’s going to be different because I’m pushing sales now. I hope I’m ready for it.

I’m also happy I am getting a shit load of hours at Macy’s. (:

Hopefully it’ll help me struggle less with finances. After February I am hoping the fiance and I will be debt free!

On the other hand, life has been tiring, stressful & all this crap.
I’m still crying my eyes out about Kaylee. It sucks. I’m just hoping that after we actually pull ourselves together and actually find a better place to live (Maybe Texas?) and get married, we can try again. This time no family member will get in our way. (We decided on Haylee for a girl or Kayden for a boy). Idk why we like “ay” in names, lol.

That’s everything.
Christmas is coming soon, and it’s not the same.

2010 Christmas List, (:

Wed, 08 Dec 2010 15:19:00 -0500

Going in alphabetical order. Thanks Josie for the “grouping” idea. :D

Accessories

- Rings

Size 6

- Scarves

- Slouch Beanies

- Small Crossbody Bags

{Example, http://www.thesak.com/Deena_Mini_Crossbody/pd/cl/1293/np/560/p/1261.html}

- Tights (Cute, tredy ones/not just plain black)

Size S

Clothes

- Tops (Dark colors, for work!)

Size S

- Jackets/Coats

Size S/M

- Jeans (Dark colors/Grey)

Size 0 Short -Yes, cause I’m short.

Side note, it’s a lot harder to think of stuff to put on here x-x.

Micellaneous {Big jump from “C”}

- Victoria Secret

- H&M

- Urban Outfitters

- Forever 21

- Amazon

- Target

- Walmart

- Starbucks

{Gift Card}

Shoes!

- Boots, boots, boots. (Uggs, knee high, short, heels, regular, ect.)

- Heels

- Flats

- Vans

{The Black&White, Canvas Authentic Lo Pro or Canvas Era}

- Sandals

Size 7

Very rarely do I even get gifts from people, yet I put a list up anyway/ Lol.

Trying to hold it together. Little bits and pieces.

Sun, 07 Nov 2010 13:42:47 -0500

Yesterday my little brother left for Texas with my mom & her boyfriend. I hope, if he wanted to come back, that my mom would let him. He spent the past week at my house and every time I came home I would see him there or wait for him to come home. Now my place seems empty.
The stress of money has taken a toll on our relationship. I know there’s a lot to handle, but we have to hold each other up. Because if we don’t, the world will just fall apart. If it will help, we’ll leave this place and go somewhere that’s maybe a bit simpler and isn’t so demanding. Whatever it takes to put this stress on both of us to an end.
Once again Bath & Body Works has failed to give me the hours I hope for, but I want to stay for certain people. (But why would that matter if I barely work anyway.) I love working at Fossil, the people there are awesome. I have a meeting with them later today, and it’s a potluck! I hope I will become a permanent member of the Fossil team.

Thinking of moving to Texas with Martino’s mom, or moving in with my sister.
What should I do?

HIS BOSS IS A MOTHER FUCKING DICK!

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 02:05:37 -0400

UGH. I know I haven’t blogged in the longest time, but I need to VENT.

So I get a text from the boyfriend saying, “Well I’m gonna have to drop my Monday night classes. I have to change my availability for CPK.”
I instantly text him back, “Why?!” Then I called. He tells me he needs to drop his classes (Which will only give him 4 units this semester.) because his fucking dumb ass boss (@ Domino’s) wants him to give up either his night classes, or one of his jobs (CPK or Domino’s). He can’t do that because we need the money for rent and other expenses. His boss knows this, but he STILL want him to give up one of the three. He is making him put Domino’s as a priority, what kind of HUMAN BEING & A FATHER would tell one of his worker that he should give up one of his jobs or stop going to school. He THINKS that we are able to live off of Martino just working at Domino’s with 35-40 hours. We pay $500 rent, $200 car payment, $150 insurance & phone payments, and other expenses. There is NO FUCKING WAY we can live off of a $9, 35-40 hour job. Even when I’m working. If he was a good enough boss, he would give him a raise. BUT NO, Martino MUST make the store have a better “grade” to be able to receive a raise; Which will probably be $.50 or $1 raise. He deserves SO MUCH BETTER, because he does SO MUCH for them. His boss doesn’t think that he is going to be reliable, because one of his coworker wasn’t reliable, but you would THINK that after him working there for so long his boss would know his reliability. His boss hires the most unreliable, and untrustworthy people ever. His boss is the most IDIOTIC person there ever was for a business. How he was able to get 3 Domino’s stores I have no fucking idea.

I am pissed off. I hope he hires more people who’s stealing from him & who doesn’t know how to do their fucking job right.

Fucking dumb ass fucking bitch.

What I think about everyday ever since.

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 00:51:00 -0400

There’s a lot of things I hold inside for the sake of not being questioned constantly.
But there is one thing I am not afraid to say or tell people (If they just asked.)

I made the biggest mistake in my ENTIRE life, because I listened to my family (or at least just my mom, older brother & sister). I was pregnant and due on November 23, 2010. I was excited, and so was Martino. But of course we couldn’t show that to our families, or at least to mine, because they would think, “WTF ARE YOU STUPID? THIS IS A MISTAKE.”

The night I found out I was shocked, but not scared. The first person I told was my sister, which WAS A MISTAKE. Martino and I went to go buy more pregnancy tests just to make sure. The next day Martino, Josie and I went to Baby’s R Us & Baby Depot to look at baby furniture and such. I was so happy. After looking at all the baby stuff there wasn’t a day where I wasn’t looking online for stuff or wanting to go back to Baby Depot or Baby’s R Us to look at stuff.

Throughout the 11wks of being pregnant I dealt with being lectured by my mom and older brother how big of a mistake it would be to keep the baby twice. And I never once said a thing about me being happy that I was pregnant. Because no matter what, they will NEVER understand why I wanted to keep my baby just because I couldn’t tell them why I wanted to keep her.

After the first talk I told them I would get an abortion, but I backed out at the last minute. Then that night I told my mom that I wanted to keep my baby. My sister texted me about 5mins later saying that my mom was disappointed, and that she wanted to talk to Martino’s family about him marrying me. I got really angry and asked why the hell would she do that. My sister answered, “For you to have a safety net so he won’t leave you.” I wanted to go home and scream at my mom.

The second and last talk about my baby was that night. They just kept saying how Martino and I were living in a fantasy world and we don’t know how hard it is. But they REALLY don’t know what they’re talking about. Martino and I planned EVERYTHING from financials, school, work, medical bills, etc. My family didn’t know this because truthfully, whatever I said wouldn’t have made a difference. They wanted my baby gone.

I gave in. I set an appointment for April 28, 2010 @ 08:30am.

That day Martino, my little brother, my mom and I went to the Planned Parenthood in Orange. We got there early and right when we parked my mom said, “Okay let’s go in.” I was angry.. I told her, no and I wanted to wait. While we waited she was nagging and she was just playing games on her phone with my little brother. I got super pissed, because she said she wanted to be there with me and help me through it. But she was just there to make sure I went through with it.. I wanted to yell at her and tell her to leave. By the time it was 08:30am, I told my mom and little brother to stay in the car because I only wanted Martino to go with me. My mom yelled at me, saying she came here to be with me and all that bullshit. I yelled at her and said, “No, I only want Martino to go, because this is our baby and you’re pushing me to do this.”

It took 8hrs.. I got home at 5pm-6pm. It hadn’t hit me yet.
The Ultrasound Tech. said I had a healthy baby girl..
I was 11weeks and 2days.

Meet our daughter, Kaylee To Nguyen Tran.

Just Listen.

Mon, 22 Mar 2010 01:43:03 -0400

There was so much going on the past week. There are somethings that will be kept a secret until a certain time.

First of all boyfriend’s car broke down in Long Beach/Cerritos when we were on the way home from Guppies. We stayed there until Brian Thai and his girlfriend came and rescued us (Duc, Randy, Phi, Boyfriend & I). We all went home around 5am, we were stranded around 1am. Sucks huh? But that’s what so great about hanging out with the guys again. I really do miss them.

We first went to Seaside just to catch up and such. It was quite fun to hear all the questions they had. I’m really glad I have them to count on no matter how stupid I am for not doing the things I should’ve done, but that doesn’t mean I regret it. :D Anyway, it was like an interrogation process with them. I love them all sooooo much<33!
Hanging out with them Tuesday or Thursday again for movies! :D

So I thought I could count on my sister to keep a secret, but boy was I wrong. Yeah sure she’s trying to make me see that it’s wrong, but would it fucking kill you to TRY and be supportive; Even when you’re against it? My sister was the reason I stayed home and not move out. No it’s more my little brother. Even so he’s against it. They made me feel as if I screwed up the family, which in turn makes me feel so obligated to leave and never come back since I’m such a screw up to only two of my family members/ Think of what the rest might think. I hope the one person who will understand why I’m doing what I’m doing is my mom. Strange huh? My sister made me doubt my choice, but now I think about it. NO ONE will make me change my mind.

I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to do stuff just because they know. Just cause I am doesn’t mean you have to do stuff for me you know? Sometimes I’d rather people just tell me what they really think and how they feel about stuff instead of doing it and telling others that all I do is ask for favors and I never just ask to hang out or say that whenever I ask to hang out there’s a catch to it. No, I really do wanna hang out whenever just to catch up. But most people don’t have the time anymore. It’s understandable. I just DON’T want people to feel obligated to do stuff and vent to others about it later. It just makes me feel like shit, I’d rather you just tell me. People should know me by now man!

Anyway I need to readddd :D. So bye!

):< School.

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 13:39:36 -0500

So.. I’m at school very very early -_-” I could be at home sleeping! I don’t have class until 1pm, and I’ve been here since 8am. I’m going to shoot myself.. ):< So I walk into TSU with the boyfrienddd to microwave my food(: and there is a HUGE group of Koreans. It was like walking into a KDrama that takes place in school. It kinda annoyed me, because they talked SUPER loud. And now there’s two Chinese students sitting right behind me watching Chinese dramas while I’m trying to do my work. ):<!!!!! jfksla. Not in the best mood.

Anyway, I really really wanna get a tattoo! I just don’t know where yet and if I actually have the courage to do it. Also, I wanna get my lip pierced! Ahh, too many things, lol.

Ugh, I want all my financial aid money!!! jsdkla;. So angry!!!!

-_-” Okay, time to try and do my essay.